Disguise your foibles

Once upon a time it was highly fashionable to drink and smoke – but, like today, it was not so fashionable that you might want to deny it.

Best give yourself the option to keep your private habits that way – with these novelty conversation starters for your den or boodwah. The plastic pineapple ice bucket is no longer fit for secret purpose. Trade up to a musical cabin cruiser which doubles as a decanter – or even a musical fire extinguisher.

Best of all, this secret table lighter comes disguised as a camera on a tripod. It comes with a bonus accessory suitable for any suave spy or private detective – a built-in compass which will be really useful if you get drunk and cannot find the way out of your bathroom.

Your secret cigarette lighter with built-in homing function for outdoor use.

Your secret booze stash even plays you a groovy spooky clockwork tune. “How dry I am / How wet I’ll be / If I don’t find / The bathroom key…”